![]() This giving in to one’s own desire-one’s own lusts-is at the core of all addiction, even from the beginning stages. “Lust” is an appropriate word to describe that nervous feeling of longing every addict of any kind feels when he is “hungering” to act out in his addiction. And this is not only true of sexual desires. In other words, we must face the truth that if we act on Satan’s temptations, if we succumb to his attacks on our weaknesses, we are actually exercising our own self-will. As James puts it, “ drawn away of own lust.” James’ statement is echoed in the words of the Prophet Joseph Smith: “The devil has no power over us only as we permit him” ( Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 181). Even so, though Satan may whisper lying thoughts into our minds such as, “Just once more won’t hurt,” or “No one will ever know,” he has no power to force us to obey his enticements. While it is true that God does not tempt us, it is equally true that He allows Lucifer, our common enemy, to tempt and try us. Another trap we need to avoid is the excuse of thinking, “Since God has given me this weakness, He can hardly blame me for having it.” As the apostle James wrote: We need to also be careful that we do not interpret the word “progressive” in SA’s statement as an excuse to allow our recovery to be so “gradual” we never get there. If we are to truly become clean, we must eliminate this habit, too. The wheels of my mind seemed to automatically slide into them, even when I tried to stay on the “straight and narrow.” In the refining process required in Step Ten, I had to eventually recognize that I could not allow even one lustful thought to cross my mind without immediately taking it to the Lord. Lustful thought patterns had become like deep ruts in a dirt road. As my acting out with pornography lessened and eventually stopped, I was still plagued with the persistent habit of lust. The fact that lust is usually the last stronghold of sexual addiction to be conquered as we recover, is illustrated by SA’s statement that “True sobriety includes progressive victory over lust.” ( Sexaholics Anonymous, 4). In other words, if I wanted to avoid being lured into viewing pornography, I had better pay attention to every lustful thought as soon as it appeared and surrender it to the Lord. I found this was a true principle, even when applied to acting out with pornography instead of another living person. If we don’t want to end up at the end of the road, we’d better not even start on it. As I have prayed and pondered about the Savior’s statement, I have come to believe that what He was really saying to us is that our actions always begin with our thoughts and desires. If you have also felt this way, I plead with you to recognize Satan’s attempt to lead you carefully down to hell (2 Nephi 28:21). In hindsight, I can see that this train of thought was an enticement to lead me on into a degree of sin I had not yet committed. Under the influence of his lying spirit, I believed that even though I had never committed adultery, by looking upon women and lusting after them I was just as far gone as if I had committed adultery. In typical fashion, the adversary convinced me to apply this scripture to myself in the most negative way possible. ![]() It says, “I want something that doesn’t belong to me.” The Savior warned about lust when he said: Living Step Ten results in our being enabled to recognize and attend to smaller sins, as the bigger ones are put behind us. ![]() Like this accomplished artist, I, too, in the spirit of Step Ten, must be willing to see my life as “a work in progress.” As long as I am mortal, I will need to look for areas to improve at a deeper and finer level of repentance. ![]() When he got to the point where nothing about the painting bothered him, he decided it was finished. He said he would usually repeat this process several times-each time fixing smaller and smaller problems. (He said his wife could never understand why he couldn’t push a vacuum cleaner around while he was studying the painting!) But as he studied it, some part of the painting would stand out because it “didn’t look quite right.” Then he would take the painting back to his studio and work on the part that bothered him the most. Then he would sit down on the couch and look at it long and hard. As we students wrestled with the process of creating our own pictures, someone asked the teacher, “How do you know when you’re finished with a painting?” He smiled and replied that every so often, as he worked on a piece at home, he would take it off his easel and set it on the mantle above the fireplace in his living room. When I was in college, I took an oil painting class from an artist whose work I had long admired. As I look for a metaphor to represent the power in living Step Ten, I am reminded again of my life-long interest in oil painting. ![]()
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